& if not, He is still good.

If there is one lesson I have learned, it is that when all your life you’ve been the girl who *swore* she was going to have *at least* seventeen children, you’re bound to have some questions three and half years into your marriage, when your baby has four legs.

No matter how well-intentioned, the multitude of questions and comments pertaining to “when we’re going to have a family” irritate me.  

We have a family.  

Skyler and I became a family on December 21, 2012.  Our family grew when we adopted Brews.  We are a family of three.  We treat Brewster like our baby because he is.  Quite frankly, he runs our house, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  When we adopted B, we intended for him to be our first baby.  He is our best friend and the perfect third piece to our family.  Our family is complete, as it is.  If and when it grows, it will simply be a new type of complete.

For now, we are working on learning to trust the plan.  We are learning to be grateful and feel blessed with where we are in life.  We are trying to be at peace with where our lives are taking us, and rolling with the punches.  Comments and questions that make it seem as if we’re “missing” something or “choosing” to put off growing our family are unnecessary and unwanted.

Skyler & I believe firmly that we are living human lives on this Earth to grow, learn, & develop Christ-like attributes.  I know that this experience is just a small part of our growth.  I am learning to be grateful for where we are; I’m trying to open my heart to whatever path it is that we’re supposed to be taking.

In a church where we are surrounded by families the size of the Duggars (kidding, almost), I am more-than aware of the emptiness of my own pew on Sunday mornings.  In a workplace surrounded by infants, toddlers, and young children, I am perfectly aware of how much joy having children would bring to our lives.  While we are learning to be grateful and to find joy in our lives as they are, we are reminded daily of how much we want children—please, don’t feel that we need your assistance in remembering that.

            We are learning & growing & trying, together.  We are learning to grow with one another.  We are learning to love one another through our messiest moments.  We are learning that His plan is at times vastly different than our plan; He is God and we are not.  We are learning that he is the Gardener.  I am hoping that some day, I will be better at thanking Him for pruning us in the ways He has. 

            For now, I’m insanely good at loving other people’s kids.  For now, we’re a family of three.  & we love that, even when it’s hard to.

         

“& if not, He is still good.”