[answers]

Tonight, I've been re-reading old emails.  That's one of my favorite parts of my story, is I can go back through it.  There are so many things I would have forgotten about myself, by now, if it weren't for those emails.

Rewind, three years ago.
I was so completely different.  Honestly, the only way I can describe myself is 'lost.'  I'd been that way for years.  I don't think I was unhappy or unsuccessful or any of those things; I had a good life, and I was a good person.  But I had no idea what my next step was.  I had no idea where I was headed, or what I wanted.  I felt alone.
Some people go out looking to be a member of this church.
I was not one of those people.  I had no interest in joining the church; initially, I was very interested in finding fault within the church.
Lucky for me, I was blessed with a missionary who was just as stubborn as I was.  Lucky for me, I was blessed to have my heart softened, bit by bit, and my understanding grew.

One of my favorite things I re-read tonight was when I asked him how he knew this church is true--how he knew that what he was teaching me was correct and right and why he believed it.
His answer was short, but it really struck me:
"I started living it. And when I started living it, little by little, I started getting answers. That’s why I ask you to live it. Because little by little you get answers."
The more I live by the standards of the church, the more my life is blessed.  That doesn't mean my life is easier; in all honesty, this past year has been immensely difficult.  I've struggled.  I haven't doubted the truthfulness of the Gospel, or the amount of love and mercy my Heavenly Father has for me.  Sometimes, I doubt me, though.  Sometimes I start to forget who I am and what I have learned and what I have felt.
I'm blessed.  I'm blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I'm blessed to have been sealed to my husband for time and all eternity.

I'm blessed. & I think I need to say that more often. I am not great at sharing my testimony. But I know that what Todd said is true: when you live it, you find your answers. I'm still finding them each day. I love this Gospel, and I love this church, and I am happy.